Notes from Father’s Day

June 22, 2009 at 12:25 | Posted in Bits and Pieces | 2 Comments
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Yesterday several of us went to lunch together to celebrate Father’s Day – one son could not join us as his baby is ill – precious little one has major cold so Mommy and Daddy stayed home with their children for the day. The rest of us gathered together along with a couple informally “adopted” sons –  they are always at our dinner tables at home and seem to live with us most of the time – seems like they must belong to us now!?

Lunch was a nice soup, salads, and bread sticks meal – and conversation flowed easily. I am always amazed when I listen to our sons talk about their families now and what they took away from their childhoods. Time was spent discussing no elbows on the tables and how “young ladies” should behave at the table. As the talk flowed I made a comment about formal night on Fridays at home where we served a more formal dinner to teach the boys how to behave in more proper settings. Dinner was always a time for the boys to talk and share; we did not believe in silence at the table! But my innocent remark brought back a flood of memories for all the boys, now young men. As they talked about what they enjoyed and what they learned at those dinners, I marveled in the memories they evoked. I was forced back to work when Valentino was disabled. I often worried what my sons were missing with Mama at work. Dinner time was a time for me to connect and hear about their day, their friends, their concerns.  It was teaching time for us, re-enforcing family values, moral codes, attitudes. To hear the youngest son and the oldest both talk, I realized how important mealtime for us as a family was. They formed deep memories for the sons — and lasting bonds for all of them as brothers with common points to meet at. For Dad, it was confirmation that his sons did listen, learn, and what he taught them stuck with them.

It may have been Father’s Day yesterday but for us it was more Family Day!

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  1. Interesting memories – no elbows on the tables, how young ladies shouldl behave etc.
    And yes, my daughters were so busy they didn’t even notice it was father’s day. But I’m not blaming them. They finished their studies in a moment when finding a job is hard.

  2. I have been doing a lot of thinking about the boys’ younger years – trying to determine if we were right in what we tried to teach them, were we too hard or not hard enough, etc – and worrying more about how they viewed their childhood. I hesitate to straight out ask because I do not want them to feel obligated to answer only in the positive if that is not what they believe. We have always stressed honesty and openness with them. So I listen closely when they do start to talk amongst themselves such as this conversation. We may not have been the perfect parents but it is nice to know that certain ‘life lessons’ made it through to them. After all it seems so impolrtant to Italian families that family counts in this world — and especially as I save family history for them, and try to teach the history of Italy, and the cultural implications on the future, I want it to mean something to them!
    Bonnie(valentinoswife)


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