Tags: ancestors, document, famiglia, family history, family research, jealousy, love of family
I have learned a valuable and painful lesson this week. Even though I have been a stickler about genealogy organization, I have messed up somewhere. One of my future posts will be about organizing and the beauty of proper sourcing from the beginning. Even saving scraps of notes helps to recreate in order to prevent double tracing over territory already investigated. But that is for a future post. This is about why we all need to be organized and thorough. So do as I say and not as I foolishly did! One of my documents that would prove my research went missing. If I cannot not have that paper or source in hand, I can not definitively prove three generations are properly in place. Two years of work will be worthless and I will end up possibly chasing wrong family lines. Our family tree will take on the appearance of an over-pruned olive tree not yielding olives!
The woman in question has an unusual name unlike any of the more common and frequently used given names in the family… Maria Veneranda. I had her name and approximate dates. I even had her parent’s names! It seemed pretty likely that I did not therefore simply pick a name out of thin air but without proof, sources, I am at a loss. Why this woman took this particular time to go missing is beyond me – a bit of a curiosity. I “know” I had my hands on her paperwork just before Christmas while working on all the genealogy and history books for our sons.
What makes this all the more curious is that she went missing last weekend when I found evidence that her husband had remarried when their son was approximately four or five years old. Interesting because I had no prior information about her death but there was Raffaele living at the same address, correct age, same parents marrying another woman. What was Maria V. trying to say from all those years ago? Was this a painful hurtful episode for her – had she still not been able to let go of jealousy of another woman raising her son? When my youngest was still a baby, we were handed bad news about my medical condition at that time. Doctors warned me to prepare and to expect the worst – there was little hope given for recovery. The admonition to “put my affairs in order” infuriated me, and I burned with jealousy at the thought of another woman taking my place in my husband’s life and raising my children! Even now after 32 years next week I am still very much Valentino’s wife! Suddenly I felt a kinship to this woman; I could sense the agony of a woman over 100 years ago knowing someone else would replace her – had replaced her. If I find her again soon, I promise to be more careful, more respectful of Maria V. She is the direct familial link – it is her son who would be the great grandfather of my husband – it is her genes that pass down to our sons. I have learned once again to source and document and back-up all information! Maria V. is not forgotten – we will search for her to bring her back to her rightful place in the family tree!